


In Another Life

by hinotoriii



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, F/M, Hoshido | Birthright Route, Prompt Fill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-28
Updated: 2016-08-28
Packaged: 2018-08-11 15:21:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7897789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hinotoriii/pseuds/hinotoriii
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes, saving two Kingdoms from further bloodshed meant loosing the most important parts of the life you'd always known.<br/>Kamui will never forget the day that her world shifted from its axis in a direction it could never return from.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Another Life

**Author's Note:**

> 'You need to wake up because I can’t do this without you.'
> 
> Prompt fill request for this [drabble meme](http://mythalsfavour.tumblr.com/post/149455837853/send-me-a-pairing-and-a-number-and-ill-write-you).

It was never supposed to end this way.

Kamui knew war was selfish, unforgiving in its nature. She knew that it was as good as a parasite in how it took and it took, that it didn’t stop taking and that it never discriminated on what it took nor who it stole from. She even knew she was no exception to such a wickedly cruel game, having lost many in her young life so far.

And still nothing could have prepared her for such an outcome as the one she faced now.

Elise was dead. Her lovingly energetic sister, who had always managed to seem like a bright light even in the darkest of moments for Kamui had been stolen from her, from all of them. Cut down by the blade which was meant for Kamui’s death instead, a cut which would have been made by the very person she held dearest in the world.

Xander.

Grief and guilt at what he had done grasped him instantly, and even though her own utter shock Kamui could sense the exact moment where he had given up. Xander could have thrown Seigfried to one side for all his effort, for when he looked across at her Kamui knew the light had already gone from behind his silver lined eyes. All his thoughts were easily readable then to her; Xander believing he had failed in protecting his family. Xander believing he had somehow played a part in the crumbling of the family they’d all built between them. Xander understanding why Kamui had left, despite how much it had obviously hurt and broken not just the rest of his siblings, but him as well.

Xander wanting to take it all back. Wishing he had had the options to change things, make it so that Elise was still alive and that Kamui was back by his side, or him by hers.

As soon as her blade met his once more, Kamui somehow knew Xander was going to let her win. He had failed, failed in all that had mattered in his eyes and death –

Well, that’s what he felt he deserved.

The moment her blade sunk into his flesh killed Kamui, breaking her apart piece by piece inside. She heard his gasp. She felt the clenching of his body as the blood began to flow from the newly opened wound, and although she couldn’t clearly see it well enough from the tears blurring her vision Kamui as good as heard the sound of Xander falling to his knees, Seigfried clattering to the ground beside him, forgotten.

Kamui instantly threw her own sword – the long length of the blade stained red with her brothers blood – to one side, her vision clearing just enough to catch the way the crown on Xander’s head had fallen away too. The pained paleness of his face caused her heart to shatter from where it had already sunken within her chest, yet it was the way Xander was looking up at her with a heartbreakingly sad and small smile that broke her completley.

“I … knew you could do it … Kamui. I … always believed you were … strong enough.”

Kamui let’s out a pained whine of her own, collapsing down next to Xander’s side as she sobbed, not caring about how she likely looked as she cried and cried and cried.

“Why? Why did you let me win Xander? Why didn’t you stop me?”

“You … already know … why.”

And she did. Oh, how she knew. It was an unspoken answer she had somehow always known. One which in that moment drew a mess of frustration up within her and which made her cry out loudly in both anger and grief.

 _“I didn’t want you to protect me! I wanted you_ with _me! That’s all I’ve ever wanted! You and Elise and Leo and Camilla – I wanted us all to be together fighting on the_ right _side of this war!”_

With shaking hands Kamui reached for the one of Xander’s which was closest to her, holding it tightly within the gloved warmth of her fingers. She was afraid to let go, especially as the warmth she always remembered him carrying in them was already beginning to fade away with each passing moment.

Time passed in a strange wave. It was like a blur Kamui could not make sense of, moving both too fast and too agonisingly slow at the same time. She absorbed each and every one of Xander’s words spoken to her, knowing that it’ll be the last time she ever hears his voice again. Yet she did not make sense of them. Her mind had already felt like it was swimming from the shock of loosing Elise so quickly, and with Xander on the brink it was too much. Too much for her to deal with, to live with, to try and survive with for the rest of her days…

_“Don’t cry … little princess … please. Dry …  your tears. I do not … deserve them.”_

_“My happiest memories … they … all include you. You, and … the rest of our … siblings.”_

_“Let Leo know that I was … sorry …”_

_“In another life … I believe … you … could have made me a very … happy … man …”_

Xander’s eyes closed on the last words, and as his head fell back into her arms Kamui felt herself panicking further. Her whole body trembled, and Kamui shook her head speechlessly, before finally finding words once more.

“Come back,” She cried, her words desperate and strained. Carefully Kamui rose a hand, brushing away a golden lock of Xander’s hair that had fallen over his face. “Come back to me, Xander. You need to wake up, because I love you. I love you, and I can’t do this without you. _I can’t.”_

Her voice cracked on the last word. Kamui watched Xander for what felt like a lifetime, waiting for him to answer …

He never did.


End file.
